COMMUNICATIONS TOOLS "The Tongue has the power of Life and Death"  Proverbs 18:21   How do we communicate? (With words, looks, body language, etc.)   What are the five levels of communication? 5.  Cliché:  Conversations we believe to be very safe. (How are you?  It's a beautiful day.) 4.  Factual:  Reporting facts about others - telling what someone else said. (John said the           workshop would be good  for you.  They said, the meeting was horrible.) 3.  Ideas & Judgment:  Real communications begins here.  Stepping out but cautious        ready to retreat. (I feel we should go now but we can stay if you want.  I don't like that but it's ok for you to like it.) 2.  Feelings & Emotions:  Now we really start to communicate.  We share our feelings about facts, ideas and judgment.  (I see it like this.  I feel we should go now.  I don't believe you should drive you aren't in condition, give me the keys.) 1.  Complete Emotional & Personal:  Now this is communication...absolute openness and honesty (involves the risk of being rejected).  (I lied to you, I do drugs.  I am really hurt by your actions towards me.  I am angry with you, I want an explanation.)   Which is your level of communication? (Truth is all levels, but we should strive to communicate in levels 1 & 2.  The word says we will be accountable for every idle word.)   Why is it, even when we say what we mean and mean what we say, people still mis- understand what we mean?  (background, educational level, origin, interest, etc.)   What is the most important part of communication? "..Quick to listen, slow to speak.."  James 1:19   How do we listen? (with ear, eyes, heart, acceptance of the speaker) Acceptance is understanding that what the person is saying is what he feels.  We don't need to agree but we need to understand that to the speaker what he/she is saying just might be the most important thing in their life/world.  Real listening means being able to repeat what was said and what we think was being felt at the time the person was speaking.    To whom do you listen?  People we believe to have dignity and worth. People that express their ideas clearly and with confidence that comes from inner conviction. Find out if the group agrees with these statements.   Now ask the group to pair off.  One is to tell the other a story using numbers, colors, names, times.  The listener will have to tell the story to the group when we come back together.  You have 3 minutes to tell your story.  The story can be true or made up.  Ready..Begin... 3-5 minutes later ask the group to come back together.  Now allow sharing time.   Have you ever misunderstood someone's directions?  (To not allow this to happen we should  repeat back the instructions if we are not sure that we understood clearly.)   The last point about good communication is that your verbal communication matches the values you believe in.  Remember that what is in the heart is what you will speak (Matt 12:34).  How is WHAT YOU SAY AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT YOU BELIEVE?   James 3: 1-12...Hardest thing to control is the Tongue.   We can kill with words.  We can give life with words.  What do we mean by the last two statements?   The tongue is a loaded weapon.  The bullets: slander, boasting, gossip, exaggeration, lying, cursing, flattery, etc.  We need to bring the tongue under control (II Cor 10:5).   What does God's Word say about communication? Re:  Proverbs 12:18 (sword or health), Proverbs 18:13 (answer before knowledge is folly and shame) &15 (listen to seek knowledge), Eph 4:15 (speaking the truth in love) & 25 (put away lying; speak the truth with others).   What prevents you from communicating well? (your own fear of rejection, not believing in your self, etc.)   How are other people affected by your communication?  (in all ways)